I have been doing a lot of thinking about the writer as both a public and private figure. With the publication of my chapbook of poems this spring, I have had to come away from the writing desk (computer screen) and interact with other people. People who might want to buy the chapbook. People who want to talk about my poems with me.
One of the most excruciating things for me is coming out of my writerly shell. I am happy to think deeply about my writing, and well, to write my writing. I am even happy to send it off into the world for publication. As much as I want others to read my work, I cringe when people want to talk about it.
Richard Siken, a poet, famously said, "If I have to explicate my poems, I have failed as a writer. I have wasted my life." Although this statement is dramatic, I know scores of writers who nod their heads at the sentiment of it. Just let me write my pages! Read them, but please don't ask me to explain myself!!
When work gets published, when a writer takes part in a reading of his or her work, and (hopefully) when it comes times for a writer to sell books, he or she MUST move beyond the writer's desk and into the public eye. How to do this? Better yet, how to do this well?
The best advice I was given about how to interact with others came from Facebook. Someone said that their writing mentor told them, "Be kind, engaged, and generous with every person you meet." Hard to do, but absolutely true. What does this actually look like in action?
To start with, kindness means that I don't get to be snarky. I have a sharp tongue and often "zing" friends and colleagues. Sarcasm is my native language. When in public, this does not serve me well. What I think of as humor, others, especially strangers will take as ass-hattery. Not only will I look like a jerk, but the next time a person sees my name in print he or she will tell someone, "Don't read that, he's a jerk!" Being kind means allowing others to have opinions about my own writing, even if I disagree with them. It also means taking a compliment well. Say, "Thank you." not "Whatever."
Being engaged means being present with whomever you are talking to. Let that person be in the spotlight. At a signing table, with a long line, don't keep looking over that person's shoulder to see how many other people are waiting. Stop thinking about how hungry you are. Actually take the time to listen to what is coming out of the other person's mouth. Nod. Make eye contact. The same eye you use to view the world as a writer, needs to be present at a reading, a signing, in a conversation. As Ram Dass says, "BE HERE NOW!"
Finally, there is the generous part. This is the hardest to pull off for me. My idea of generosity is not letting a person see me roll my eyes when it takes them longer than five seconds to go through the door I am holding open for them. Being generous is an extension of being engaged. It means that I am not the center of attention. My work is not the center of attention. This can be hard for a writer to understand. Being generous with others means that they are actually the focus. In a sense we write for our audience. Our poems, stories, and art arrives are created specifically for the person standing in front of you. Yes, that person. Yes, you.
Without an audience my writing is nothing more than a kind of journal, however artful. Learning through trial and error. Growing social skills no matter how painful. Smiling instead of furrowing our brow. These are real and necessary acts for writers. We must do them as we step away from the writer's desk and into the public eye.
As writers we don't need a makeover for the camera, we just need to remember to treat our readers with the dignity they deserve.
No comments:
Post a Comment